Spirited Communication

Author: Tom Keefe (Page 1 of 6)

Weather Choices and Consequences

It’s been 18 years since I posted about the disbelief of me and coworkers in Illinois upon hearing that a light snow and ice event in Portland, Ore. led to the temporary emergency closure of our office there.

I thought about that post today while my daughter and I walked our three dogs in beautiful 63-degree weather in Arizona. My wife earlier today told me that friends in Illinois were bracing for a cold snap that was punishing a wide swath of the United States.

These were the same friends who questioned our decision to move last summer to Arizona and endure temperatures that regularly exceeded 100 degrees.

Life is about choices, and every choice comes with consequences and requires adjustments. People endure consequences of their decisions where to live and work—including the thousands impacted recently by the California wildfires.

I still make choices regarding work, family life, faith and personal challenges. The choices have narrowed and become easier to discern over decades of living and commitments I have made. But every year brings new choices that stretch me.

This blog and its predecessors have allowed me to trace the journey that life and my choices put before me. I don’t document that journey often enough, but like a gorgeous, sunny January day, I feel grateful when opportunity and creativity come together to birth another post.

Considering the right of abortion

Legalized abortion in the United States has been a contentious and polarizing issue for more than 50 years. In the aftermath of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade in the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization case, it has become a top issue in elections from the U.S. President to local state and county offices.

Abortion defined
Merriam-Webster defines abortion as “the termination of a pregnancy after, accompanied by, resulting in, or closely followed by the death of the embryo or fetus: such as a: spontaneous expulsion of a human fetus during the first 12 weeks of gestation b: induced expulsion of a human fetus.
“Abortion.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/abortion. Accessed 18 Sep. 2024.

Abortion in my life
My wife and I experienced abortion in the early 1990s. It was the “natural kind,” meaning that we didn’t want it to happen, but something went wrong. Doctors would call the 2-1/2 month-old a “fetus.” We called it our baby, and I felt deep loss.

Of course, the controversy today is over abortions where a parent decides to terminate a pregnancy where the baby/fetus is otherwise viable. People who are pro-abortion focus mainly on the right of a woman to make medical decisions that impact her body. People who are anti-abortion see the unborn life as having an innate right to survive.

When society considers the “right” of abortion, we make legal and moral judgments. Should individuals have the legal right to end a pregnancy? Is the life within a woman more than a mass of developing tissue?

I wept for the loss of a child 30 years ago. I weep today for the people who have made a difficult decision to have an abortion. I mourn the loss of so many potentially impactful lives that were cut short.

When I complete my ballot this year for national and local candidates, their views on abortion cannot be my only litmus test. Our nation is struggling in many areas, and we face many issues that require true leadership to tackle.

I will vote because that is both a right and a responsibility in the United States. No political party has consistently demonstrated commitments to every ideal I hold dear. So I will judge each candidate on the totality of their background, ideas and accomplishments.

As you consider your votes, will you struggle like I do with making decisions based on not only what is “best,” but what is “right”?

Do ‘Bad Leaders’ Exist? Oh Yes!

Tom Keefe delivers a presentation on leadership.

Tom Keefe delivers a presentation on leadership.

I had just finished delivering a leadership workshop, when one attendee asked me a question about a topic that clearly troubled her.

“Is there such a thing as a ‘bad boss?'” she asked.

During the workshop, I showed a series of photos of famous people, and asked the audience to pick the ones whom they considered leaders. Most of the audience also identified “bad leaders”—including Kim Jong-un and Al Capone.

Bad leaders certainly exist! They differ from ineffective leaders, who lack the skills or character to lead a team to the best outcomes. It is possible to redirect and reeducate ineffective leaders to become more effective, more empathetic, and more focused on team success. However, bad leaders lack the desire or capacity to see their deficiencies, and they ignore input from their people.

If you want to avoid becoming a bad leader, assess your leadership style and use a 360-degree evaluation to receive feedback from your manager and the person(s) who report to you.

Some well-known assessments include:

Forgetting Corporate History

Mergers and acquisitions too often lead to breaks in the chain of corporate history.

We sometimes talk about the impossibility of being completely honest by asking questions such as, “Have you ever taken a paper clip or pen from work? If so, you are a thief!” But during business mergers, acquisitions and liquidations, something much greater is lost: corporate history.

I’ve worked at a couple of organizations that completed one or more mergers or acquisitions. After talking with some people who were “merged” or “acquired,” I got the impression that one of the most disappointing aspects for them was seeing how their company history no longer seemed relevant or useful to their new leadership.

This photo was taken more than 20 years ago to commemorate the expansion of a paper machine at the Fort James Corporation Savannah River Mill near Rincon, GA. I came across it recently when I cleaned a closet in my home office. It would have been tossed into a dumpster long ago if I had not decided to keep it years before.

The photo was sent in the late 1990s to Fort James executives in the Deerfield, IL headquarters, and soon found its way to the company’s Corporate Communications Department, where I worked. As with many such photos and trinkets from corporate events, the photo was displayed prominently for a short time, and then moved into a storage closet.

We came across it early in 2001 following Georgia Pacific’s acquisition of Fort James. We were packing material to send to the GP communications staff. But they didn’t want the photos we had collected. Their focus was on GP; the history of Fort James was not important enough to worry about at the time.

As we disposed of our files that were not wanted by our GP counterparts, I came across this photo. The consensus of the communications staff was that GP would not care for it. I liked the image, was impressed by seeing these large machines in action, and asked to keep the photo. No objections from my manager, so I kept that piece of company history alive for a time.

Corporate history is so much more than old photos and files. Think of the “institutional knowledge” that walks out of companies when someone retires, leaves for a new company, or dies. Operational playbooks can help cover the knowledge gap, but usually not without a degree of confusion and mistakes.

Are those who forget corporate history doomed to repeat it? Not always, however productivity and competitiveness can be hampered by employees and leaders who “don’t know what they don’t know.”

Communicating as a Leader

A leader demonstrates certain traits that strenthen their ability to attract and develop people within their sphere of influence.

My career included time reporting to a boss who was not a leader. Let’s call him “Dave.” He cared about protecting his job, which meant Dave’s management decisions were based on self-interest and self-protection. The people who reported to him had limited ability to advise and persuade Dave to be more caring to the people impacted by his decisions. I left the organization when I could no longer stomach the situation.

Contrast that boss with a coworker who, while not a boss, was a true leader. Let’s call her Mary. I was in awe of Mary’s ability to cast a vision for what needed to be accomplished, know her weak areas (and convinced others to fill the gaps) and empower her teammates to take action to make a difference.

What made Mary a “leader” and kept Dave from being considered one?

A leader demonstrates these three traits, among others. These traits help them communicate more effectively as a leader.

  1. Authenticity.
    Communication Consultant David Grossman says: “Leading authentically isn’t about being like someone else. Instead, it’s about knowing yourself and being who you are.”

    Employees want a leader who is real and is aware of (and honest about) his or her strengths and weaknesses. They don’t want a leader who’s like a Hollywood movie set—well-packaged on the outside with nothing behind it on the inside.

    This authenticity is as much about words as it is about actions. It is about you to the extent that you’re demonstrating who you are, your values, and the higher purpose you serve. All of that will benefit your audience—the very people who are working to achieve your organizational goals.
  2. Be it; don’t “strut it”
    Certified Professional Co-Active Coach Mary-Ellen Hynd said a real leader is “someone who people follow willingly. It’s not about power and it’s not about position.” (We know who is the boss!)

    LISTEN! (be transparent, foster open communication, check for understanding)

    Which begs the question: How do you get people to follow you willingly?
  3. Motivate and inspire
    I learned important lessons from people who understood not to belittle or speak down to staff. These leaders always seemed to find something to cheer about in their staff’s performance, even when correcting or questioning.

High levels of trust in leaders correlate with higher employee engagement and positive business results. It also improves retention because people don’t usually leave organizations, they leave managers.

Book Review: The Sacredness of Secular Work

This was the prevailing view when I was growing up of what eternity in heaven would be like: We would all float around on clouds playing harps.

No wonder why so many weren’t excited about going there. It seemed so boring!

Imagine my excitement when reading Jordan Raynor’s book, “The Sacredness of Secular Work.”

In his book, Raynor clearly connects the purpose and importance of our work today with our purpose and place in heaven for eternity. In doing so, he gave me an “aha” moment just as powerful as the opening line of, “The Purpose Driven Life.” (Remember, “It’s not about you.”?)

Raynor aligns with the Faith and Work Movement, which serves Christians in corporate campuses as one of the largest global networks of workplace fellowships. F&WM serves more than 135 of the largest publicly traded companies through networks in strategic cities, including New York, Chicago, San Francisco. Silicon Valley, Singapore, Manila, and Dublin.

The F&WM site states, “We exist to positively impact companies that impact the world and to help Christians in the marketplace to bring their best self to work. We do this by honoring God at work, encouraging one another, loving our coworkers the way Jesus would if he had our jobs, and praying for companies, leaders, each other, and our cities.”

Raynor stays true to the purpose of the F&WM by combining research, scripture and storytelling to show how our individual and collective work honors God now. But he goes further by laying out a case that:

  • Your work matters for eternity even when you aren’t using it to directly advance the Great Commission (“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”—Matthew 28:19-20 (New International Version)
  • In fact, the Great Commission isn’t the only commission, and it wasn’t the first commission!

After outlining five problems with making the Great Commission our only commission, Raynor summarizes what he terms, “The Abridged Gospel”: “The gospel is the good news that Jesus came to save people from their sins.”

But read how much more expansive and exciting our promised eternal future sounds when Raynor states it as “The Unabridged Gospel”:

God created a perfect world and invited his children to rule over it with him and for him. We sinned, ushering in the curse that broke every part of that perfect creation, ensuring our need for a Savior. Jesus’ resurrection proved emphatically that he is that Savior who saves us by grace through faith. And while we’re not saved by our works, we have been saved for the good works he prepared for us to do all along: partnering with him to cultivate heaven on earth until he returns to finish the job. Then the triune God will finally dwell with us again on a New Earth, where we will rule with him for ever and ever.

That plays out for each of us as uniquely as our gifts, passions and experiences.

I recommend, “The Sacredness of Secular Work.” By the way, its subtitle is, “4 Ways Your Job Matters for Eternity (Even When You’re Not Sharing the Gospel).” The book renewed my desire to honor God daily in the work put before me—and I hope you also find it meaningful and motivational.

“The Sacredness of Secular Work,” by Jordan Raynor. (c) 2024. Published by WaterBrook.

Facing Fear and Fire Through Firewalking

[podcast src=”https://html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/4535985/height/360/width/450/theme/standard/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/forward/” height=”360″ width=”450″]

Download Episode!
In June 2016, several participants in a firewalking exercise at a Tony Robbins motivational seminar, were taken to local hospitals after suffering burns.

Why would anyone walk across fire, and how do so many thousands of participants at events like Robbins’ avoid injury?

Stephanie Kurokawa

Stephanie Kurokawa

Listen to this 14-minute with Stephanie Kurokawa, a speaker, trainer and volunteer for Tony Robbins. She has successfully firewalked three times at Robbins’ events, and shares her thoughts on the benefits of the exercise.

Real Freedom

Independence From AddictionI’m not like many of you.

Today, millions of people in the United States will celebrate the anniversary of the date when our founding fathers in the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence.

That “Independence Day” often is marked by parades, picnics and parties that include barbecued foods, fireworks and the consumption of beer, wine and other alcoholic beverages. Millions of Americans 12 years of age and older also smoke marijuana, according to surveys including the National Survey on Drug Use and Health. It goes without saying that people will be getting high in many ways today.

But not me and millions of other recovering alcoholics and addicts.

For us, real freedom today comes from avoiding substances that, while pleasurable in smaller doses and infrequent use, led to physical, emotional and spiritual bondage.

Unlike prohibitionists, I don’t support laws that ban alcohol and other drugs. That isn’t freedom either.

Not everyone who will overindulge today is an alcoholic or drug addict. Some are just naïve or foolish about the effects of alcohol and other drugs. However, as someone who has experienced the compulsion to drink and drug, I know that I am not one of the people who can take a few sips of a drink, put it down and forget it.

I’ve had to make adjustments in the 30+ years since my last drink and drug. I’ve regained a spiritual foundation for my life, and have worked to clear the wreckage of my past caused by my addictions.

I speak to groups and individuals regarding my experiences before, during and after addiction. The main point of my talks is that real freedom is something that we have to work for, and at times fight to maintain. The benefits are more wonderful than someone can imagine when under bondage, but those benefits do come true when we work for them.

Happy Independence Day!

Loving Memories of my Dad, Ed Keefe on Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to anyone reading this who has had the privilege, joy and challenges of being a father.

The day is bringing out more emotion than usual from me, because this is the first Father’s Day since my dad, Ed Keefe, died.

This is my dad, Ed, and my mom, Donamarie, early in their relationship.

This is my dad, Ed, and my mom, Donamarie, early in their relationship.

I’ve heard it said that we have to go through so much training to drive a car, but someone can become a father without any training or preparation.

I’ll agree that someone can become a biological father without any training, but no one truly succeeds at parenting without a lot of effort, education and personal growth.

Any successes that I’ve had as the father of my son, Kevin, and my daughter, Caitlyn, stem from lessons that I learned from my dad. Just as most of us learn more from our mistakes than our successes, I’ve learned more about parenting by examining what my dad did, and deciding whether I would model his approaches, or choose a different way. I can think of many times when I did or said something the way that I thought dad would have—and quite a few times when I said or did something the opposite of how I had experienced dad’s approach when I was growing up.

I’m the fifth of six children, all but my oldest brother being born at Swedish Covenant Hospital in Chicago. My brother Bob was born at Great Lakes Naval Base because my dad was serving in the Army at that time. We had many struggles, including years of meager living in Peoria, where my dad was in sales. Decades later, one of the most difficult times for my family came when my sister was diagnosed with cancer.

Mom and Dad pose with their six children,  back row from left: Bob, Scott, Mike and Steve. Front row: me and Annette, who died of cancer at the age of 26.

Mom and Dad pose with their six children, back row from left: Bob, Scott, Mike and Steve. Front row: me and Annette.


Annette, a young mother, endured an 18-month battle before she died, leaving behind a young son, her husband, and her parents and brothers. Nothing could prepare us for that battle, but I learned many valuable lessons from dad and mom about commitment, compassion, and how to release a child into the care of a loving God.

I always felt that my dad was an awkward father, not being a good communicator and somewhat of an authoritarian. But that was the general parenting style of his generation. But he was a dynamite grandfather, taking time to attend the many events that his grandchildren were into. Dad loved to laugh and amuse the kids, and they all responded to him with joy.

A little more than one year ago, Dad found out that he had cancer, and soon realized that some of it was inoperable. In late summer 2015, dad went into hospice at home, and passed into glory on Nov. 17, 2015.

My brother Steve and I plan to take mom to the cemetery on Father’s Day, to honor dad’s memory. Wherever you are, if you are able to tell someone that they are doing great as a father, do it! It’s never easy, but always deeply appreciated.

A recent family photo. Back row: Bob's spouse, Allen; Bob; Dad; Mike's son, Marcos; Scott floating above the crowd (this is a family joke), Mike. Front row: My son, Kevin, me floating above the crowd; my wife, Kim; my daughter, Caitlyn; and Mike's wife, Alejandra.

A recent family photo. Back row: Bob’s spouse, Allen; Bob; Dad; Mike’s son, Marcos; Scott floating above the crowd (this is a family joke), Mike. Front row: My son, Kevin, me floating above the crowd; my wife, Kim; my daughter, Caitlyn; and Mike’s wife, Alejandra.

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