Happy Father’s Day to anyone reading this who has had the privilege, joy and challenges of being a father.
The day is bringing out more emotion than usual from me, because this is the first Father’s Day since my dad, Ed Keefe, died.
This is my dad, Ed, and my mom, Donamarie, early in their relationship.
I’ve heard it said that we have to go through so much training to drive a car, but someone can become a father without any training or preparation.
I’ll agree that someone can become a biological father without any training, but no one truly succeeds at parenting without a lot of effort, education and personal growth.
Any successes that I’ve had as the father of my son, Kevin, and my daughter, Caitlyn, stem from lessons that I learned from my dad. Just as most of us learn more from our mistakes than our successes, I’ve learned more about parenting by examining what my dad did, and deciding whether I would model his approaches, or choose a different way. I can think of many times when I did or said something the way that I thought dad would have—and quite a few times when I said or did something the opposite of how I had experienced dad’s approach when I was growing up.
I’m the fifth of six children, all but my oldest brother being born at Swedish Covenant Hospital in Chicago. My brother Bob was born at Great Lakes Naval Base because my dad was serving in the Army at that time. We had many struggles, including years of meager living in Peoria, where my dad was in sales. Decades later, one of the most difficult times for my family came when my sister was diagnosed with cancer.
Mom and Dad pose with their six children, back row from left: Bob, Scott, Mike and Steve. Front row: me and Annette.
Annette, a young mother, endured an 18-month battle before she died, leaving behind a young son, her husband, and her parents and brothers. Nothing could prepare us for that battle, but I learned many valuable lessons from dad and mom about commitment, compassion, and how to release a child into the care of a loving God.
I always felt that my dad was an awkward father, not being a good communicator and somewhat of an authoritarian. But that was the general parenting style of his generation. But he was a dynamite grandfather, taking time to attend the many events that his grandchildren were into. Dad loved to laugh and amuse the kids, and they all responded to him with joy.
A little more than one year ago, Dad found out that he had cancer, and soon realized that some of it was inoperable. In late summer 2015, dad went into hospice at home, and passed into glory on Nov. 17, 2015.
My brother Steve and I plan to take mom to the cemetery on Father’s Day, to honor dad’s memory. Wherever you are, if you are able to tell someone that they are doing great as a father, do it! It’s never easy, but always deeply appreciated.
A recent family photo. Back row: Bob’s spouse, Allen; Bob; Dad; Mike’s son, Marcos; Scott floating above the crowd (this is a family joke), Mike. Front row: My son, Kevin, me floating above the crowd; my wife, Kim; my daughter, Caitlyn; and Mike’s wife, Alejandra.
I’m not like many of you.
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