Spirited Communication

Category: career

Why Not This Day?

January 1 of every year marks more than the beginning of a new year. For many people, it is the start of a new commitment to improve diet, fitness and/or mental/spiritual growth. It is a day to change.

I gave up New Year’s resolution long ago after growing tired of dealing with the emotional and spiritual turmoil that occurred when I inevitably gave up on whatever goal or promise I had made. I’m not disciplined enough to change most aspects of my character and habits. However decades ago, I successfully surrendered to some that were particularly damaging by using a simple set of spiritual tools available in a program of recovery.

That program focused me on living just one day at a time. It taught me not to obsess on the past or the future, and to develop a relationship with the God of my understanding. By seeking God’s will for my life and asking for the power to respond to whatever God seemed to want me to think, do or know, my life is more grounded and manageable.

I still have specific unrealized goals and dreams that stress me because they are not yet realized. The biggest one is my novel-in-progress.

The difference between what I have accomplished and what I have not is primarily the result of actions I either have or have not taken.

While I’m not making a resolution to complete the unrealized goals that remain top of mind, I have taken action on them today. I won’t worry about tomorrow until it comes.

What action can you take today to move into the will of God (or HIgher Power) if you have such a relationship?

Positive changes can come, if we work on them.

Why not this day?

‘How to Get Along with Black People’

While cleaning out file cabinets in the basement of my parents’ house, I found a book and letters that tell a story fitting for the Martin Luther King holiday.

The title of the book is, “How to Get Along With Black People,” with the subtitle, “A Handbook for White Folks* *And Some Black Folks Too!” written by Chris Clark and Sheila Rush. The book was published in 1971 and featured a forward by Bill Cosby—who at that time was a popular comedian.

How to Get Along With Black People Book Cover

I learned from reading handwritten correspondence tucked inside the book, that a relative had given the book to my dad after dad had expressed the desire to move past ingrained racial prejudice. To be clear: My dad wasn’t a white supremacist or someone who regularly railed against black people.

He was a product of his time and place: A male from a white lower-middle-class family. Segregation was being legally beaten down by the time my dad and mom had their sixth and final child, my younger brother, in 1961. But the Civil Rights Movement of the late 1950s through the 1960s surfaced fear and distrust in many communities across the nation—including West Rogers Park where my parents lived from 1966 to just a few short years ago.

My family used to enjoy African-American entertainers like Cosby and Sammy Davis Jr., but we didn’t have African-American friends or neighbors while I was growing up. It was like we could relax and enjoy their talent from a distance but wouldn’t make the effort to meet someone of color in real life.

Something happened to my dad at some point in his life that prompted him to reach out to a relative. The correspondence I found in the “How to Get Along” book didn’t include the original letter my dad had written, so I don’t know what happened. But the relative’s reply gave a hint. The relative expressed support for my dad’s desire to move past his fear of African-Americans. Dad evidently wanted to defeat some inner block that prevented him from being himself when interacting with someone who happened to be of color.

Our relative gave dad the “How to Get Along” book as a tool for dad to read as a beginning step toward reaching the point that King Jr. so eloquently described as

“I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”  — Martin Luther King, Jr. / “I Have A Dream” speech, August 28, 1963

And what about me, one of my father’s offspring?

In the private, Catholic high school I attended in downtown Chicago from 1972-76, about 10 percent of my class were of color. We talked inside and outside of class, and while participating in intramural and extracurricular sports. But I didn’t consider anyone of color to be a friend then. I continued to hang out with white classmates.

In college, I met people of color who became true friends and colleagues in journalism. I was more mature and could interact with them as the normal people that they were. To me, it was how the world was supposed to be.

Decades later, I look back at the legacy of leaders like Martin Luther King, Jr. and see a world that is still divided, but that is better than the one my dad grew up in.

One small victory: I never had to hand my son and daughter a book explaining to them how to get along with their friends of color.

Cover liner notes (c) 1971 by The Third Press—Joseph Okpaku Publishing Co., Inc.
All rights reserved.

Remembering 9/11 and My Job Search Then and Now

Sixteen years ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop with about 10 members of a newly formed job search support group. It was the third week since I was terminated from a marketing communications position at Wonderlic, Inc. I was another casualty of the nation’s slowing economy and the company’s belt-tightening.

“Someone just flew a plane into the World Trade Center towers,” one of the group said, having listened to the news report on the radio playing in the coffee shop. I remember my response vividly: “That is truly sad, and I hope that not too many people died. But we have to focus on getting jobs!”

I soon realized that I had missed both the scope of the tragedy in New York and how our world was about to be rocked. The terrorist attacks there, at the Pentagon, and the hijacked Flight 93 that crashed into a Pennsylvania field, led to a shutdown of air traffic and further weakened the nation’s economy.

Hiring dried up, then slowly resumed over the ensuing months. For me, 9/11 marked the beginning of a three-year period of under- and unemployment, the worst period of my professional career. That ended in March 2004 when I was hired by VW Credit, Inc.

Today, as the nation again honors the brave first-responders and remembers the nearly 3,000 people killed in the 9/11 attacks, I feel a small sense of uncomfortable familiarity. Due to a reorganization, my position was eliminated in March at VW Credit, and I am about six months into my search for my next communication position. While I’m grateful that the economy is in better shape than it was 16 years ago, and my professional networking efforts continue to uncover promising leads, I find myself once again with an uncertain immediate future.

I continue to hone my speaking skills and build a speaking career, but I am not at the point where that can sustain my family by itself.

But it occurred to me recently that the strength, commitment and perseverance that I and the nation showed 16 years ago will lead to positive outcomes today. In other words, faith and effort are stronger than fear and doubt.

It was important for me to remember that today, and I hope it helps someone else who reads this.

As Part of ‘Spring Cleaning,’ Remove Clutter

Physical, emotional and spiritual clutter can take a toll on us!

Physical, emotional and spiritual clutter can take a toll on us!

“It’s interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

What would an archeologist dig up 1,000 years from now if he or she found your home or office?

What would a counselor dig up if he or she talked with you about the physical, emotional and/or spiritual “clutter” currently in your life?

Use today as an opportunity to begin to remove clutter from your life.

“A simple life is not seeing how little we can get by with—that’s poverty—but how efficiently we can put first things first. . . . When you’re clear about your purpose and your priorities, you can painlessly discard whatever does not support these, whether it’s clutter in your cabinets or commitments on your calendar.”
― Victoria Moran, Lit From Within: Tending Your Soul For Lifelong Beauty

Next Saturday! Free Leadership Workshop

Plan to attend a special workshop that will help you to be a more effective leader.

Plan to attend a special workshop that will help you to be a more effective leader.

If you are in the Chicago area next Saturday, consider joining me and several other communications professionals who are offering FREE workshop sessions under the general heading, “Unleashing the Leader Within.”The workshop sessions will be held from 1:45 to 4 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014 at Aon Hewitt, 4 Overlook Drive, Building A, Lincolnshire, IL 60046. Building security requires that you register in advance at this link. (http://j.mp/d30toastmasters)I’ll lead two workshop sessions:

  • Developing Your Leadership Skills
  • Characteristics of Effective Leaders

Other communication professionals will lead sessions on:

  • The Art of Effective Evaluation
  • Improving Your Management Skills
  • Building Your Thinking Power – Power of Ideas
  • Building Your Thinking Power – Mental Flexibility

This workshop is offered compliments of Toastmasters District 30, North Division.

I hope to see you there!

Prepare, Participate and Pass It On

Last night, I shared three keys for success and fulfillment in the communication field, and how IABC/Chicago can benefit its members.

In coming days, I’ll expand on each of the three keys: Prepare, Participate and Pass It On. To better set the stage, here are the brief remarks that I delivered upon accepting the 2014 Karen Utterback Volunteer Award from IABC/Chicago.

———————————————————————————-

Fellow IABC-Chicago members, award winners and honored guests:

What a privilege to be selected as the 2014 recipient of the Karen Utterback Volunteer Award.

Whoever came up with this award had a great idea…just to be clear, that wasn’t me. I’m not patting myself on the back.

It’s a great idea because it honors someone who epitomized the concept of a servant leader. Karen gave tirelessly of her time and energy, and was a terrific IABC volunteer and leader.

This is also a great award because it puts focus on volunteerism—which is the lifeblood of a not-for-profit organization like IABC.

As I accept this award, I want to briefly share three keys to continued growth and value for IABC-Chicago and its members.

  1. Prepare. Anyone in the communication field who wishes to be successful and fulfilled needs to develop communication and leadership skills.IABC/Chicago supports that preparation through its professional development and networking events, and through opportunities to serve on the IABC/Chicago Board of Directors.
  2. Participate. Whenever I hear someone say that they are quitting some pursuit or organization because they “aren’t getting anything out of it,” I usually wonder, “What did you put into it?” Much of the value of your IABC/Chicago membership comes when you participate in the group’s events, and volunteer to be part of group activities.I began to participate on the IABC/Chicago Board of Directors the year that Karen Utterback died. Because that was Karen’s second consecutive term as president, we didn’t have an immediate past-president, and no one had yet stepped up to be president-elect.That’s when long-time IABC members like Mary Hills, Peg Wander, Julie Bjorkman, Joanne Kitsos and Julie Baron stepped up to reestablish order and restore leadership. They participated big-time!

    Their example made it easier for me to accept the president-elect role later that year, and to serve as chapter president the following year.

  3. Pass It On. Healthy organizations have a seamless transition from one leadership team to the next. One of my primary objectives as chapter president was to work with chapter board members to ensure that our finances, technology, processes and volunteers would be ready to turn over to our successors.I felt that the biggest gift I could give Ken Groh, as he succeeded me as chapter president, was a seamless transition—followed by a gracious exit to the shadows. While I stayed active on the board as director of sponsorships, I knew that I needed to pass the leadership gavel to Ken—and not to try to grab it back. That is the tricky balancing act for a leader—being available to offer support and advice, while not sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.

Prepare. Participate. Pass it on.

As I prepare to pass the microphone back, I’d like each of us to raise a glass to the memory of Karen Utterback, chapter president, chapter advocate, friend to many here.

TO KAREN!

Honored to Receive the 2014 Karen Utterback Volunteer Award from IABC/Chicago

Tonight, I’ll receive the 2014 Karen Utterback Volunteer Award from IABC/Chicago.

The IABC/Chicago website states, “This award, which began in 2012, recognizes a veteran IABC/Chicago member who exemplifies communications excellence and stewardship. The recipients demonstrate unyielding dedication to the betterment of the communications field, serve as mentors to professionals and embody the essence of IABC/Chicago. They truly represent the best of our organization.”

I’m rarely at a loss for words, but I can’t adequately express my appreciation to those IABC/Chicago board members who nominated and voted for me. I’m like most people; I don’t volunteer for personal glory, I volunteer because I like to share my experience and knowledge with others.

Tonight, I’ll share three keys to continued success for IABC/Chicago leaders and members. The three keys are: Prepare, Participate, and Pass It On. Later this week, I’ll expand on each of those keys in separate posts.

To end this post, I’ll refer back to the information regarding Karen Utterback that appears on the IABC/Chicago website. I might have won the award named in her honor, but I doubt that I ever will be able to fill her shoes—particularly the ones she wore during marathons!

Karen Utterback, ABC

Karen Utterback, ABC

“The award memorializes two-term IABC/Chicago chapter president, Karen Utterback, ABC, who unexpectedly passed away in 2009. Utterback had served as IABC/Chicago’s president since June 2008 and as its director of finance from 2005-2008. She actively encouraged and mentored communicators to pursue the Accredited Business Communicator (ABC) designation, since earning her own designation in 2005. In addition to her IABC work, Utterback was a board member of the Judd Goldman Adaptive Sailing Foundation, a volunteer for the Taproot Foundation and the Chicago 2016 campaign. She raced sailboats, climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro in 2008, and had run more than 19 marathons, including races in Antarctica and on the Great Wall of China.”

What a privilege to have served with Karen, and to now be associated with the award honoring her memory.

Giving Young Communicators a ‘Reality Check’

bigstock_Road_To_Success_1058994On Thursday, I’ll be part of a panel of communication professionals who will speak to a group of students regarding the “challenges and opportunities of working in corporate communications.”

As I was preparing for the panel discussion, I came across a blog post I wrote three years ago titled, “The Job Market Is Scary…and Scarring.”

Although the market is slowly improving, we haven’t moved very far in three years. So I’m reposting the article because it still rings true to me.

According to Associated Press Economics Writer Jeannine Aversa, the Federal Reserve released a forecast on Wednesday predicting unemployment will stay high over the next two years because recession-scarred Americans are likely to stay cautious.

Coincidently, I had spoken the day before with two separate and distinct groups of job-hunters, which were clearly scared AND scarred by ongoing weak economic conditions and the related highly competitive and frustrating job market.

I’m no stranger to unemployment and a prolonged job search, having been laid off from communications positions in 1991 and 2001. The 2001 layoff was the hardest, coming just three weeks before the Sept. 11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Towers. That attack caused an already struggling economy to tailspin, and hiring froze across the board. I was sitting that morning in a coffee shop with a group of fellow unemployed professionals who had agreed to form a job/networking group. When one of the group members said, “Hey, someone just flew a plane into the World Trade Tower,” I replied, “That’s a shame, but we’ve got to focus on getting a job.” Of course, what I mistakenly perceived to be an accident caused by a poorly skilled pilot turned out to be one of the most significant events of this decade.

It also marked the beginning of a two-and-one-half-year period of under- and unemployment for me. It was a humbling experience, which continues to make me more empathetic with current people who are “in-transition.”

Like the fellow IABC/Chicago members who shared a drink with me after the lunch seminar at Maggiano’s in Chicago. (I took the afternoon as vacation time, and they had time to spend.)

Like the soon-to-graduate Loyola University students who later that evening asked me and three other professionals for advice about a communications career—and whose stiff expressions and carefully chosen words revealed their unspoken, deepest question: “Do we really have a CHANCE to get a decent job?”

At times like this, job seekers need to be heard. It sucks to finally get an interview after weeks of no nibbles, only to be discarded because someone else matches your work experience, AND has something else that the hiring manager preferred. When you are in mid- or late-career, your spouse doesn’t want to hear it. He or she wants to hear that you got the job, along with the salary and benefits that you’ve struggled without for so long.

When you are about to graduate, your parents and friends don’t want to hear that you don’t have any prospects. They want to hear that you have landed a terrific position that will allow you to move out on your own and pay back your student loans.

No, in this scary job market that scars more than it soothes, people need to have someone who has an open ear.

Someone who has been there…and knows that he might be there again one day.

Presenting: A Train Wreck

Sigh!

Just days after communications consultant Shel Holtz celebrated his earning the top rating as one of 73 breakout session speakers at the 2006 IABC International Conference, I received my evaluation. This comment from one of the attendees seemed to sum it up nicely:

Don’t ask him back next year.

To use a baseball analogy, if Shel’s performance ranks him as the Detroit Tigers (the best in the league), mine would rank me with the Kansas City Royals (nowhere to go but up). I wish I could have compared myself to the Chicago Cubs–although they are perennial losers, some people consider them lovable. Unfortunately, my results were just plain ugly!

I actually can identify more with the major league debut of a Seattle Mariners player: infielder Ron Wright. Here’s how San Diego Union-Tribune columnist Chris Jenkins described that first experience in the “big leagues”:

Wright’s mistake was just getting out of bed, let alone Tacoma, the Mariners’ AAA locale. Indeed, we’re talking about perhaps the worst major league debut of all time.

For the record, Wright struck out in his first major league at-bat, then hit into a triple play on his next at-bat. The tail end of the triple play came on Wright’s ill-advised break for second base, where he was thrown out by the pitcher. “Hey, dude,” Jenkins quoted second baseman Bret Boone as saying to Wright, “that was bad.”

Things got better in Wright’s third trip to the plate, when he “only hit into a 6-4-3 double play,” Jenkins wrote. “For those keeping score, that’s six outs in three at-bats. Gotta be some sort of record.”

Well, records were meant to be broken, and I believe that my recent presentation has lowered the standard for a debut. Rather than sulk about it (I did that on the day that I received the evaluation), I prefer to believe the quote that “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

So to make your presentations stronger and to let you benefit by NOT doing what I did, here are some thoughts to consider if you ever are asked to be a last-minute fill-in speaker at a major conference or event.

  1. Be sure that you understand the topic. I know that this sounds very basic, but consider my recent experience. About 3 1/2 weeks before the 2006 IABC International Conference, I received an email from an IABC staff member, asking me to serve as a fill-in. She mentioned a couple of communications professionals who “suggested I contact you, as you know the subject matter – managing change brought about by social media.” I was flattered to be asked, and considered it a great opportunity. But I dismissed the fact that the heart of the presentation required experience with building online communities –experience that I didn’t have.
  2. Make sure that you have enough time to prepare. Sure, we’ve all had experience with pulling all-nighters and weekenders to complete some rush project. I wasn’t concerned about getting the IABC presentation done on-time–particularly when I emailed the original presenter, who was very willing to share his thoughts on what he planned to deliver. I’d just combine some of the original material with my own experiences. That way, no one would feel cheated, I reasoned–incorrectly. I spent too much time trying to weave together the unfamiliar material with my own thoughts. In fact, I was tweaking the presentation all the way up to the day it was to be delivered. That led to another big mistake:
  3. Don’t ever, ever, ever read the slides. I knew this; I hate this when other presenters do it…yet I still read some of the slides. Why? Partly due to nerves, partly due to the lack of time to practice enough, and partly due to a lack of time to create presentation handouts. I wanted to emphasize some points, and since I couldn’t assume that everyone in the audience could quickly spot and read the points on my slides, I started reading. As Jethro Tull sang in Locomotive Breath: “old Charlie stole the handle and the train won’t stop going –no way to slow down.” My trainwreck was underway!
  4. If you can’t do justice to the original topic, try to adjust it to something you can discuss well. With the feedback from the original presenter, I felt that I could prepare a hybrid presentation that would go over as well as the new hybrid cars. The reality was that if hybrid cars had the same performance specs as my presentation, we would all soon be riding bicycles. I would have been better off speaking entirely on material I knew well–or declining the invitation to speak.

Good thing that I have this blogging thing to fall back on.

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